The Tagalongs

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My family and I walked into the karaoke bar at the resort ready to dazzle the onlookers. What we found was a gaggle of girl children, who claimed to be Girl Scout Troop 69375643&76, hogging the mike and singing every Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber song known to man. Which would have been alright except that they were hitting pitches that would cause a canine unit to file a complaint with PETA. But even though the listing on the activity sheet clearly said Adult Karaoke, the pre-teen sensations seemed to be having a great time, so we filled out our request sheet and waited our turn.

About a half a dozen sappy love songs later, Callie and I performed our duet and accepted the applause and adoration from those still wearing retainers and training bras. As we were exiting stage left and smiling for the cameras, a group of frat boys walked in on a babysitting nightmare. 

The hand motions were a huge hit with the Bieber cult

The hand motions were a huge hit with the Bieber cult

Talk about a Kodak moment. As soon as they saw the mass of screaming girls, their expressions went from confusion to annoyance. They had sauntered in for a beer and found themselves in the middle of a slumber party.  How in the world were they supposed to pick up chicks when so few of the females in attendance even had a driver’s license?  Were they supposed to offer to buy them a Hawaiian Punch? These shrieking singers were probably out past curfew as it was.

Luckily for them, one of the troop leaders saw this mass of masculinity and rushed to the rescue. She strolled over, pulled out a bar stool for her 40 year old behind, and began flirting with men almost half her age. I guess someone’s a fan of Cougar Town.

Just give me a second while I spruce up for the frat boys

Just give me a second while I spruce up for the frat boys

I leaned over to Callie and said, “I bet her daughter’s dying.”

Callie nodded. “I can just hear it:  ‘Please don’t date him, Mommy; he’s only 5 years older than I am.'”

We laughed and stayed just long enough to hear one of the college boys sing an ode to his draft beer: Draft beer, you’re a fine girl, what a good wife you would be . . .

As we walked to the car, I said, “So we got to sing karaoke with Girls Scouts and frat boys. Interesting night.”

Blake returned, “Yeah, it’s not often you see those two at the same bar.”

“Unless it’s cookie season,” Callie added.

Indeed. It’s a shame we didn’t come out of that deal with a box of Samoas and Thin Mints. It almost would have made up for the screaming.

© 2013 – Traci Carver

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14 responses »

  1. Just think what you and I could get into! Perhaps dinner night this summer should entail a side trip somewhere. Think hubby would be in for it? ROFL

  2. Reminds me of two different days. One, we lived in the desert, we were the only < 30 yos in a restaurant owned/run by a family of early Hollywood singers. A bus load of gray-haired folk filled the place. We ate our dinner feeling really bizarre, The oldsters were having a song fest — apparently it was a tour to do just that. Songs we might have heard, certainly didn't know the words to, and everyone but us, the owners, waitstaff, etc. were apparently having the time of their lives. Very surreal!

    The other I was working a convention, a science fiction convention. In the same hotel was the regional NAACP meeting — those two groups got along fine. Then there was a high-brow wedding reception that weekend too, they were less sure about the people in dashikas and dressed like ewoks, and finally, Tim McGraw was playing in town, he and his entourage were the last big group.So we had the NAACP, Westchester County, western musicians and ewoks all in the same hotel at the same time.

    • I love the thought of senior citizens on tour! How fun. They probably had five decades of songs under their belts.
      And how can you not get along with ewoks? 🙂

  3. Traci,
    It must be karaoke season, we are setting up the a system at our deck party this Friday night, always entertaining!
    By the way, there is a great online service with more than 4,000 songs that you can use from our laptop. Drop me a note if you want info

    • I wish the resort would invest in that system! In a day when you have every song at your laptop fingertips, they still use discs and a book with a limited selection. So frustrating when you’re just not in the mood for Hank Williams.

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